The north star's in the sky tonight, the air is thick and clear...

I think I turned a corner today. It has been a few days since I landed in Berlin, and although it's been mostly a joy, my heart has also been bridled with some sadness. Perhaps it's the pressure of reaching a dream; God knows it has been a dream to finally get here, but with it comes a certain pressure to enjoy it in a major way. And I know that on the back of the last couple of weeks, its actually hard to enjoy anything let alone in such an isolated state. But today I enjoyed. And I feel freer for it.

The day began later than usual - 11ish. And I woke with a happy suprise at having received some lovely texts :) I had a very late night last night after going to the Lesbich Schwul Stadtfest (City Lesbian & Gay Festival. The festival was filled with colour and vibrancy and a lot of familiar things. It was strange to be so far from home in a culture that is just so different, with scarce English spoken around/to you and yet some things just be so familiar! Gay boys act the same, use the same mincing spoken tone en masse, there is still a huge diversity in styles and subcultures, and marketing for gay events and clubs looks the same no matter what language it is published in! I must confess to the German girls being per capita hugely more attractive than their Aussie counterparts, although its strange here because standard German women look like dykes to me with comfortable shoes and short hair. Although the women at this festival were just gorgeous. mmm. It was definitely a good perve fest.

A few things shocked me: lots of full on bondage stuff, lots of guys walking around with a 'slave' on a leash and often clad head to toe in leather. Most interestingly though - and this is what i was so interested to observe - there is definitely an S&M subculture where nazi-styled clothing and behaviour is lauded. This is fascinating to me, and was the underlying thread of my honours thesis. Oh how I'd love to explore this idea more... I really didnt think I'd see it so obviously demonstrated. Anyway... just musing.

Hmm... so back to yesterday. I also had a chance to get to the Holocaust Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. It's a plethora of 2000+ concrete slabs that you can walk through. And it has an attached museum (which requires full security checks to enter... but is free!). It was a basic timeline with interesting photos and a couple of rooms. One had a range of testimony displayed from letters where people had written to loved ones as they were on the way to a concentration camp (KL) and thrown them out the window. Some were heart wrenching, but I loved the way they only included snippets from people they had further information on, so all were contextualised into a broader picture. That gallery was moving, but also palatable because it didn't feel like a barrage of death and figures and faceless victims. Another room was dedicated to information about entire families who had been affected by the Final Solution, and these were interesting mosaics of survivors and decendants and some families who had been entirely obliterated. This gallery was the hardest for me to digest even though I understand the curator's motive. The remaining galleries were dedicated to individual victims: one had a scrolling projected image of a victims name and dates of birth and death, and if more was known about them the voiceover filled in the gaps. Apparently every known victim who died is included in that gallery's display and if it was shown continuously during the 6 days of opening a week, it would take over 6 years to show them all.

It was an amazing museum and I'm glad I went. I'm also glad I made sure I had something fun to follow it. It hasn't played on my mind. There was nothing 'real' there. I'm in two minds about going on a trip to Saschenhausen KL in the next couple of days. Lots of people go, and it could be my only chance to go and see a real concentration camp. I'll think about it.

I also got to chatting yesterday to a Melbourne girl who was staying in my hostel. She is sweet and we chatted about all sorts of things. She actually works for Optus in the same dept as I used to! Such a small world. She took me later in the evening to a music festival where there was a bar set up. Lots of electronica music and outdoor drinking and games of bat tennis and frisbee. We stayed there til about 11 when I insisted we head back to the gay quarter and we went to the official afterparty of the festival. It was huge and in an old renovated theatre and there were a couple of thousand people (mainly Muscle Mary boys) dancing to the decent music. It has amazed me how much bad english language pop music gets played here - Steps and Gloria Estefan!! Not even good stuff like ABBA!! ;) All in all it was a late night, and we made full use of the 24 hour weekend UBahn trains which are fast, clean, direct and easy to use. A good day with some fun time definitely helps. I really really like Berlin.

Given that it's nearly midnight, I wont stay here for too much longer. A quick run down on today then:

* Woke late
* Came to the net cafe for lazy time and had great chats with Tanya Mum Dan & Dad!! and caught up on all the goss!#
* Sat for a couple of hours in the garden out the back of the hostel - its lovely and shadey and leafy. Enjoyed the 30 deg weather and updated my travel journal while sipping hot choc.
* Went back to Nollendorfplatz to the festival to be suprised by triple swell in numbers. It was twice the size of St Kilda Fest. Easy! Enjoyed some live music and learned that dykes with guitars are universal... and attract the same over 40s crowd... and Me! Ate some fabulous Nutella crepe. And drank non-Bier. Chatted to some lovely people and got some recommendations on places to go. Then came back to the hostel
* Wandered around place near hostel kinda like Brunswick St. It was quiet - a lot shuts here on Sundays
* Chatted to folk at hostel

That's pretty much it. Im pretty weary but enjoying the Summer Rain and the feeling of being clean. It gets so humid here I have to peel my clothes of at the beginning and end of each day!

xoxo
Love from Berlin